What I learned in 2007? – No Holds Barred!

I can be taught.

When the highest offices in the land act, I can pay attention and learn. What have I learned in 2007?

Never arrest me for anything.

Seriously, never even consider arresting me for, say…spying on my neighbor. Or, if I get caught, lying about it under oath. Stealing? Please…done all the time by contractors hired by my government. And if I’m not getting what I want through theft or spying, and have to result to torture, I should have carte blanche. Yes, a free hand for crimes, up to and including the crime of treason! After all, what’s good enough for Dick Cheney and Carl Rove, right?

Republicans, under Bush, did all of this shit! They stole, tortured, took bribes, caged votes, violated the Constitution…did I mention torture? They even exposed a covert CIA agent during war time to salve political wounds – that’s treason – and got away with it. So no Republican lawmaker, or Republican-appointed law-interpreter, should ever have a thing to say about anything I do. I mean, torture and treason? I should seriously be able to get a pass on murder, at least!

And as for Democrats? Well, they had the oversight responsibility, and didn’t do shit. They even acted retroactively to make blatant and serious crimes by our current administration legal. Should I find the need to spy on, steal from and torture my neighbor, I expect (as a lifetime Democratic voter) the same courtesy. Not only should they direct the law enforcement agencies of my locale to not arrest me, but pass a law that lets me totally off the hook. It’s the least they can do.

And never let it be said that Democrats didn’t do the least they can do.

So, as the speeches from Iowa ring with “hope,” and promise of “change,” let us not forget the lesson these leaders of America’s liberal party taught us: there is no accountability! No matter how unpopular you are, you will not be made to pay for crimes against people, other nations or our own beloved country and Constitution.

So go hog wild! I expect nothing but pardons for my next neighborhood rampage - from President Clinton, or Edwards or Obama. Their actions should encourage us all to ignore the law with impunity.

Yes, I can be taught – it’s no holds barred for 2008!