Obama, where thy baseball bat?

Yaargh!

I wrote a post in the spring where I asked Rachel Maddow to calm down when she was crying that the heated primary between Clinton and Obama would destroy the world (or, assure a McCain victory – same thing).

Now, someone’s gotta’ calm me down.

Obama, last week, was losing in a national Gallup pole to John McCain.

Seriously, let that sink in. Losing to Grampy McSame, John McBush, Get-Off-My-Lawn John. What the fuck??!!

The fuck is: Karl Rove. Assisting the McCain campaign, either in person, or via his acolytes, Republicans are controlling the conversation again. And again, the conversation is about stupid shit. Apparently, we are eating it up.

What were the most memorable messages from the campaigns for the last week? Sexist pig lipstick, Obama teaches the Kama Sutra to kindergarten children, and McCain and Palin are mavericks that will clean up Washington? What bullshit! But what have you heard to counter it? Zip. Oh, I know Obama has responded - policy statements and paragraphs that make sense, but that NOBODY TALKS ABOUT. And that’s the point – getting people to talk about it. It has to be dramatic and controversial.

Obama said he wasn’t going to take a knife to a gunfight. He’s right – he hasn’t taken anything! He’s just getting his ass shot to pieces by Grandpa Munster and Moose Mom.

Man, Obama needs to creep up behind with a baseball bat and WHAM! And, when he gets called out by the Republican echo chamber, say “politics is a contact sport, didn’t you think I was going to play?”

Obama makes good speeches – maybe the best in our generation. But that doesn’t win an election in the age of cable TV. Palin read a decent speech, and almost matched his Neilson Ratings numbers from his Denver speech. McCain beat his numbers with a horrible speech. You must keep it simple, and make people pay attention. Use simple words that rile people up:

1. Lie – Obama must use the forbidden “L” word. He must say, in ad after ad that McCain has lied about every important issue. Fuck the idea that there are two sides to every story – take out the bat and call him a liar!
2. Dangerous – From loose nukes to starting wars, McCain is a hothead that will attack Iran and Russia. Grab the bat and call him a crazy mutha’ fucka’. “John McCain is dangerous for America” is what every news anchor should repeat.
3. Took your money! – The most powerful meme of all. “John McCain and the Republicans have taken your money.” Tell the press that they took it and gave it to Exxon and Halliburton. They took it and gave it to the same mortgage companies that are taking your house. They took it and gave it to your old boss who sent your job to China. Take out the bat!

Oh, and Sarah Palin? Stand up and shout that she is corrupt and stupid. Never mind the Republican preemptive strike that nobody can attack a woman – and that attacking her is sexist. No Republican ever said that about Hillary. Wind up the metaphorical bat and swing away. And when Hanity shrieks “how could you,” simply say “because she lies, she’s dangerous and she will steal your money.

By the way, those three points all have the benefit of being true. Get the fuckin’ bat, Obama.