What, Me An American?

Traveling abroad this summer? Are you wearing a T-shirt that says: “Seriously, I am so fucking sorry…no really, I’m sorry!”?

Maybe I should have some printed.

Now, we Americans, we don’t blush easily when it comes to international dealings. We are, after all, the sole super power on earth. (We are still, right?) We do what we want, when we want, and pay for the damages if we party too hearty. That’s been our post WWII M. O. Others may call us arrogant. We call it swagger.

But the news this week has brought the last six years yet again into focus. And it is just getting too hard to not be embarrassed by our President and his cronies. How could it have come to this?

Oh, that’s right. We elected him. Twice.

Yeah, yeah…election fraud in Florida, then Ohio. And I believe it in both cases. Yet in each election the Democratic Party put forth the lamest candidates, or at least the lamest campaigns imaginable. This almost guaranteed Republican victory – ‘cause we knew they’d cheat! And, the elections were close enough for the cheating to work. Roughly half of America voted for the mess we have now. And what a mess. What an embarrassment! Just look at what we’ve got:

• Our President – The man is barely coherent in English, his native language. His speeches are primers for “How to Sound Stupid” lessons. He conducts himself like a man who hates his job, and hates the people he serves. More on this later.
• Our Vice President – Wow! Darth Cheney. So much evil in one person, he is like an evil vortex. If his approval rating was his credit score, he couldn’t finance a used AMC Gremlin.
• Condi Rice – Had a recent chance to shine at a Mideast Summit. Ended up acting like a three-year-old. “If the Iranians want to talk, they know where to find me” or some such shit like that. An intelligent African American woman who gets things done would be such a boon for America right now. Too bad she is either incapable, or on too short a leash to manage it.
• Donald Rumsfeld - Screwed up Iraq so badly, and for so long. And still has an office at the Pentagon. Many critics (including generals) say daily that our military is about broken, and will take years to fix. And we know what a cluster-fuck Iraq is. Thanks Don.
• John Bolton – Our President appointed a man who wanted to disband the UN as our UN ambassador. Enough said.
• Alberto Gonzalez – Oh-my-god! Have you listened to this weasel testify before the Judiciary Committee? Even Republican senators are incredulous; red-faced in anger over his bungling and sliminess. He is a scumbag, a liar, and lacking any credibility in any circles, anywhere! And he is our Attorney General…still! It’s almost like we have no Justice Department. We certainly don’t have one we can trust at this point.
• Paul Wolfowitz – Holy shit, Paul Wolfowitz…

Paul Wolfowitz is currently throwing the final shovels of dirt on American credibility around the world. The Bush Administration has killed our credibility, stripped it naked and sent it to be buried in an unmarked grave. Wolfowitz has pissed on the corpse and buried it upside down.

At least, that is how defiled Americans should feel watching this guy operate. I mean, what an asshole of the first order! While cutting off funds to starving nations under his “corruption” push as head of the World Bank, he uses his influence corruptly to get his squeeze hired at the state department. This Syrian woman gets security clearance because she’s banging Wolfie. And a big fat paycheck to boot. Your tax dollars at work!

And that is just it. His pussy is coming at the expense of a State Department salary. Are we not outraged? And I don’t mean outraged that Wolfie is getting some. I mean, bang away, dude. I mean outraged that he wouldn’t be getting any if there was no six-figure salary to go along with his shlong. And Wolfie’s probably rich enough to pay himself! But noooo, Joe and Jane six-pack are footing the bill. And corruptly at that.

Now, our World Bank partners don’t care how much pussy Wolfowitz gets either. But they do care, being a lending institution, about fiscal corruption and poor governance. And this is what Wolfie has shown them. They want him out, because his is an embarrassment and an albatross around their necks. But he’s fighting it. And, his evil neocon partners, the Bush Administration, are letting him go to the mat for his job, taking the credibility of the world’s number one foreign aid organization down with him.

World Bank partners may just say, “fuck it” if this goes on too much longer. Paul Wolfowitz could destroy the World Bank by hanging on to his job in the most shameless fashion possible. Yet another neocon takes down yet another vital public institution through corruption and incompetence. How stupid are these guys?

Or, are they stupid at all? Has it not been their goal to destroy government from the beginning? Has not Katrina been used to destroy FEMA? NCLB used to destroy public education? Iraq used to destroy the army? Economic policy used to destroy the middle class? Alberto Gonzalez used to destroy the Justice Department? Have they not put the Bill of Rights through the shredder?

Taken as a whole, the actions of the Neoconservative shitheads can only be seen as a direct assault on the American People. They hate us! They see us as a liability because we expect governance, and they want none of that – just the power. They are a corporate oligarchy that sees the world as a zero-sum game, and their own citizenry as an impediment to getting “theirs.”

And we voted for them, twice.

Maybe our tee shirts should say “2006 - We get it now, really, we do!” Or, “please, give us until 2008!”

I hope we do get it. Whether by unimaginable bungling, or by devious design, our institutions are being destroyed by people we gave the keys to. And, as long as we have franchise, we bear some of the blame. Maybe our tee shirts, when we travel should say “they’re with stupid.”

Or maybe “Proud to be Canadian.” Can you say “eh?”